i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
