You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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