So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
