Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
