I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
