i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
