He is like the real live version of the state fair..
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
