Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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