O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
tell me about the eggs
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