U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
