I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize