So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
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bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
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I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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