He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
