And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
