he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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