Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
