You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
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On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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