I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
