At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
