I think scott just propositioned me for sex
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
