They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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