your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize