Where is the hickey?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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