Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize