Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
nutella sex= disaster
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
