So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
