even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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