there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
