Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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