You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
