I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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