I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
