He is such a slut. More and more my type.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
