so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
