I skipped work to stalk him.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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