My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
