I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
