dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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