You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
