What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
