RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We have so much sex to catch up on
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
