OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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