lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
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