I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
