So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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