i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize