I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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