I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Are my feet made of real feet?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
