I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
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I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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