I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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