he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
