Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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