What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
