This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
