I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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