That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
