I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
