R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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