True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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