I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
