IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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